5 Steps to Adjusting Your Expectations
Dateline: January 4th. Orange County Anger Management class participants review anger triggers of the week.
Jane, age 23, engaged to be married: "My boyfriend openly flirts with other women in front of me."
Jim, age 40, an IT professional: "a work group back East didn't finish their project on time, which made our progress look bad I blew up!"
Joe, age 46, successful business owner and young grandfather: "I get so mad at everyone that my daughter won't let me see my grandchild. Now, I'm angry at my daughter, too."
Mary, age 38: "I am constantly yelling at my two teenagers because they won't do what I tell them to."
Nancy, married 28 year old successful writer who goes into period rages toward her equally successful husband: "I can't stand that he never picks up his clothes and he doesn't do things around the house that he says he will do."
Alex, a 50 year old salesman in class because of road rage: " I can't stand it when people cut in front of me on the freeway it makes me crazy."
Different Anger, Common Cause
In all cases, the cause of the anger isn't what happened to these basically normal people; rather it is how they assessed or evaluated what happened.
Anger often results from comparing the behavior of others to your expectations.
Sometimes it's a reasonable thing to do that, but more often it's not because we have unreasonably high, and sometimes just plain wrong, expectations of ourselves and those around us.
We can thus say that anger is caused by the discrepancy between what we expect and what we get. Indeed, the definition of expectation is "eager anticipation."
Our Goal
It's important to figure out exactly what "reasonable" means in terms of expectations of yourself and others. If your expectations are too low, you'll feel cheated in life or worse that you are "settling."
On the other hand,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Grey Boots, if your expectations are too high, then reality will suffer from comparisons to expectation and you may experience disappointment and other anger reactions.
Adjusting Your Expectations
Step 1: Decide what is reasonable. This may be tricky because different people have different ideas of this,feedback. One way to do it is to think about it when you are calm and cool. Many things that seem "reasonable" when you are worked up, later seem ridiculous and petty.
Step 2: Eliminate the word "should." None of us can control other people, try as we might. People behave the way they behave for their own reasons.
Instead of "should-ing" others, state needs from your own perspective, i,Are you letting life just happen.e., "I'd prefer if" instead of "They should"
Step 3: Recognize limitations. People often behave badly toward us because of their limitations or problems,You can't change your environment, not because they are purposefully trying to make us miserable. People are fallible and may not be able to live up to our expectations, or they may have a different agenda than meeting your expectations.
Relationships have their limitations. Marital research shows that 69% of relationship issues are basically unsolvable and perpetual. Wise couples accept this and find ways to live around the issues, rather than engaging in constant conflict.
Step 4: Be tolerant of other views. Rather than convincing yourself that others are "wrong." Tell yourself they simply see things differently than you do. No need to get angry over this they may be as convinced of their "truth" as you are of yours!
Step 5: Explore ways to get needs met. The underlying reason we often get angry at others is because our basic needs are not being met as a result of the situation or the behavior of the other.
Rather than getting angry, we need to consider two more effective ways to deal with the situation:
1. Honestly communicate your unsatisfied needs to others.
2. Explore alternative ways to satisfy your needs. Take responsibility for your own needs and find workable and acceptable ways of satisfying them.
Friday, November 30, 2012
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Or a winner
Motivation,and maybe we could meet for a drink sometime. When I asked if he was seeing someone,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Grey Boots
Pain may sometimes be the reason why people change. Failing a test make us realize that we need to study. Debts remind us of our need to look for a source of income. Being humiliated gives us the push to speak up and fight for ourselves to save face from the next embarrassment. It may be a bitter experience, a friend s tragic story, a great movie, or an inspiring book that will help us get up and get just the right amount of motivation we need in order to improve ourselves.
With the countless negativities the world brings about, how do we keep motivated? Try these tips:
A - Achieve your dreams. Avoid negative people, things and places. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."
B - Believe in yourself, and in what you can do.
C - Consider things from every angle and aspect. Motivation comes from determination. To be able to understand life, you should feel the sun from both sides.
D - Don t give up and don t give in. Thomas Edison failed once, twice, thousands of times before he came up with his invention and perfected the incandescent light bulb. Make motivation your steering wheel.
E - Enjoy. Work as if you don t need money. Dance as if nobody s watching. Love as if you never cried. Learn as if you ll live forever. Motivation takes place when people are happy.
F - Family and Friends - are life s greatest F treasures. Don t lose sight of them.
G - Give more than is enough. Where does motivation and self improvement take place at work? At home? At school? When you expert extra effort in doing things.
H - Hang on to your dreams. They may dangle in there for a moment, but these little stars will be your driving force.
I - Ignore those who try to destroy you. Don t let other people to get the best of you. Stay away from toxic people - the kind of friends who hate to hear about your success.
J - Just be yourself. The key to success is to be yourself. And the key to failure is to try to please everyone.
K - keep trying no matter how hard life may seem. When a person is motivated, eventually he sees a harsh life finally clearing out, paving the way to self improvement.
L - Learn to love yourself. Now isn t that easy?
M - Make things happen. Motivation is when your dreams are put into work clothes,000 students and teachers..
N - Never lie, cheat or steal. Always play a fair game.
O - Open your eyes. People should learn good sense. They see things in 2 ways - how they want things to be, and how they should be.
P - Practice makes perfect. Practice is about motivation. It lets us learn ways we can recover from our mistakes.
Q - Quitters never win. And winners never quit. So, choose your fate - are you going to be a quitter? Or a winner?
R - Ready yourself. Motivation is also about preparation. We must hear the little voice within us telling us to get started before others will get on their feet and try to push us around. Remember, it wasn t raining when Noah build the ark.
S - Stop procrastinating.
T - Take control of your life. Discipline or self control jibes synonymously with motivation. Both are key factors in self improvement,all kinds of other gifts come to you naturally..
U - Understand others. If you know very well how to talk, you should also learn how to listen. Yearn to understand first, and to be understood the second.
V - Visualize it. Motivation without vision is like a boat on a dry land.
W - Want it more than anything. Dreaming means believing. And to believe is something that is rooted out from the roots of motivation and self improvement.
X - X Factor is what will make you different from the others. When you are motivated, you tend to put on "extras" on your life like extra time for family, extra help at work, extra care for friends, and so on.
Y - You are unique. No one in this world looks, acts, or talks like you. Value your life and existence, because you re just going to have it once.
Z - Zero in on your dreams and go for it!
Pain may sometimes be the reason why people change. Failing a test make us realize that we need to study. Debts remind us of our need to look for a source of income. Being humiliated gives us the push to speak up and fight for ourselves to save face from the next embarrassment. It may be a bitter experience, a friend s tragic story, a great movie, or an inspiring book that will help us get up and get just the right amount of motivation we need in order to improve ourselves.
With the countless negativities the world brings about, how do we keep motivated? Try these tips:
A - Achieve your dreams. Avoid negative people, things and places. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."
B - Believe in yourself, and in what you can do.
C - Consider things from every angle and aspect. Motivation comes from determination. To be able to understand life, you should feel the sun from both sides.
D - Don t give up and don t give in. Thomas Edison failed once, twice, thousands of times before he came up with his invention and perfected the incandescent light bulb. Make motivation your steering wheel.
E - Enjoy. Work as if you don t need money. Dance as if nobody s watching. Love as if you never cried. Learn as if you ll live forever. Motivation takes place when people are happy.
F - Family and Friends - are life s greatest F treasures. Don t lose sight of them.
G - Give more than is enough. Where does motivation and self improvement take place at work? At home? At school? When you expert extra effort in doing things.
H - Hang on to your dreams. They may dangle in there for a moment, but these little stars will be your driving force.
I - Ignore those who try to destroy you. Don t let other people to get the best of you. Stay away from toxic people - the kind of friends who hate to hear about your success.
J - Just be yourself. The key to success is to be yourself. And the key to failure is to try to please everyone.
K - keep trying no matter how hard life may seem. When a person is motivated, eventually he sees a harsh life finally clearing out, paving the way to self improvement.
L - Learn to love yourself. Now isn t that easy?
M - Make things happen. Motivation is when your dreams are put into work clothes,000 students and teachers..
N - Never lie, cheat or steal. Always play a fair game.
O - Open your eyes. People should learn good sense. They see things in 2 ways - how they want things to be, and how they should be.
P - Practice makes perfect. Practice is about motivation. It lets us learn ways we can recover from our mistakes.
Q - Quitters never win. And winners never quit. So, choose your fate - are you going to be a quitter? Or a winner?
R - Ready yourself. Motivation is also about preparation. We must hear the little voice within us telling us to get started before others will get on their feet and try to push us around. Remember, it wasn t raining when Noah build the ark.
S - Stop procrastinating.
T - Take control of your life. Discipline or self control jibes synonymously with motivation. Both are key factors in self improvement,all kinds of other gifts come to you naturally..
U - Understand others. If you know very well how to talk, you should also learn how to listen. Yearn to understand first, and to be understood the second.
V - Visualize it. Motivation without vision is like a boat on a dry land.
W - Want it more than anything. Dreaming means believing. And to believe is something that is rooted out from the roots of motivation and self improvement.
X - X Factor is what will make you different from the others. When you are motivated, you tend to put on "extras" on your life like extra time for family, extra help at work, extra care for friends, and so on.
Y - You are unique. No one in this world looks, acts, or talks like you. Value your life and existence, because you re just going to have it once.
Z - Zero in on your dreams and go for it!
Monday, November 26, 2012
Grab All The Responsibilities You Can Handle
Grab All The Responsibilities You Can Handle,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Grey Boots
Each of us has three options for handling responsibilities. The choice we make is one of the most powerful determinants of the degree of career success we experience.
One option is to avoid responsibility whenever possible. That is the G. I. Joe response,Heaven Luck. Recruits learn early that unless they want to make a career of the military, "don't volunteer."
A second option is to accept responsibility when it is thrust upon us,1. Send a handwritten note or letter that expresses your thankfulness.. The commonly accepted wisdom is that this is the road to success.
But wise careerists understand that merely accepting responsibility is not enough. The real key to getting ahead of the competition in the world of organizations is to aggressively seek responsibilities.
Each of these options produces its own predictable results.
To just avoid responsibility means at best to stay in place and in time to drift downward into the routine of bureaucracy.
To accept responsibility is to advance in lock steps with a lot of other people in the pack who believe that is enough to satisfy their ambitions.
To seek responsibility is the way to move ahead of one's peers.
The upwardly mobile person, however, also knows that the reach for responsibility must never exceed the grasp the ability to handle it.
BE SURE YOU CAN DELIVER
Promise only what you can deliver and deliver what you promise is wise career advice.
The irresistible urge to seek out and take on more and more assignments is a sure sign of career health, if it is controlled. But taking on additional assignments until there is an impossible overload is a sure road to big headaches, if not worse.
If your supervisor has seen you as a reliable, ambitious producer, he will be only too glad to let you take on more and more. However, he may not recall all that you already have on your plate.
He gives you another responsibility and he expects you to do your usual good job on time. But if the assignment is not completed as promised, he forgets "what you've done for him lately." His chagrin and disappointment will not be lessened by the excuse, "I have had much to do. I have been here every night until ten or eleven o'clock."
Lou Gerstner, the recently retired CEO at IBM, says the ambitious person needs to learn early on that it is perfectly acceptable to decline an assignment. That is, he says, if you are already overloaded and know that you cannot deliver on an additional project.
Far better, declares Gerstner, to say up front: "Sorry, although I would like to do that job for you, I am so overloaded right now that I simply can't deliver the kind of quality you and I both want on the schedule you need. Can you give me a little more time or can we delay delivery of another one of my assignments?"
The message is clear. Reach out and grasp all of the responsibility you can handle. But once an assignment is taken there is absolutely no viable excuse for not completing it as promised.
Ask yourself two questions:
When I have finished an assignment,she was the person who delivered my original flute to me, do I wait for my leader to give me another one or do I go looking for the next task to do?
Am I looking ahead to the challenge of increasingly difficult responsibilities?
The answers to these questions are a sure indicator of the direction and pace of your career.
XXX
Each of us has three options for handling responsibilities. The choice we make is one of the most powerful determinants of the degree of career success we experience.
One option is to avoid responsibility whenever possible. That is the G. I. Joe response,Heaven Luck. Recruits learn early that unless they want to make a career of the military, "don't volunteer."
A second option is to accept responsibility when it is thrust upon us,1. Send a handwritten note or letter that expresses your thankfulness.. The commonly accepted wisdom is that this is the road to success.
But wise careerists understand that merely accepting responsibility is not enough. The real key to getting ahead of the competition in the world of organizations is to aggressively seek responsibilities.
Each of these options produces its own predictable results.
To just avoid responsibility means at best to stay in place and in time to drift downward into the routine of bureaucracy.
To accept responsibility is to advance in lock steps with a lot of other people in the pack who believe that is enough to satisfy their ambitions.
To seek responsibility is the way to move ahead of one's peers.
The upwardly mobile person, however, also knows that the reach for responsibility must never exceed the grasp the ability to handle it.
BE SURE YOU CAN DELIVER
Promise only what you can deliver and deliver what you promise is wise career advice.
The irresistible urge to seek out and take on more and more assignments is a sure sign of career health, if it is controlled. But taking on additional assignments until there is an impossible overload is a sure road to big headaches, if not worse.
If your supervisor has seen you as a reliable, ambitious producer, he will be only too glad to let you take on more and more. However, he may not recall all that you already have on your plate.
He gives you another responsibility and he expects you to do your usual good job on time. But if the assignment is not completed as promised, he forgets "what you've done for him lately." His chagrin and disappointment will not be lessened by the excuse, "I have had much to do. I have been here every night until ten or eleven o'clock."
Lou Gerstner, the recently retired CEO at IBM, says the ambitious person needs to learn early on that it is perfectly acceptable to decline an assignment. That is, he says, if you are already overloaded and know that you cannot deliver on an additional project.
Far better, declares Gerstner, to say up front: "Sorry, although I would like to do that job for you, I am so overloaded right now that I simply can't deliver the kind of quality you and I both want on the schedule you need. Can you give me a little more time or can we delay delivery of another one of my assignments?"
The message is clear. Reach out and grasp all of the responsibility you can handle. But once an assignment is taken there is absolutely no viable excuse for not completing it as promised.
Ask yourself two questions:
When I have finished an assignment,she was the person who delivered my original flute to me, do I wait for my leader to give me another one or do I go looking for the next task to do?
Am I looking ahead to the challenge of increasingly difficult responsibilities?
The answers to these questions are a sure indicator of the direction and pace of your career.
XXX
Friday, November 23, 2012
In this job you are the boss
The Birth, Life, Death Process by Richard Blackstone
Life is a process and your spiritual growth depends on your understanding of this foundational principle. There is spirituality information in this article that explores this process and illuminates small but often overlooked pieces of the life puzzle. Let us start with the premise that you are in the realm of the absolute and you once again choose to take on the form of a human body and play once again at this game called Life on Planet Earth.
As you set in motion this wonderful journey, you once again make an agreement with God to voluntarily forget who you really are. That does not stop you from being who you really are,2. We know defeat when our feet refuse to step out of the puddle of discouragement., it just allows you to forget it until you chose the experience of remembering it again, just as you are doing when you read this article and other articles like it.
You begin to create your life anew and you are entering a new phase of the eternal life process. The phenomenon we experienced, as the physical death of the human form previous to this, was nothing more than a transitional period that allowed us to review the life experiences of that previous form and then decide what we choose to experience next. The death creates the birth that creates the experiences that creates the death that creates the birth that creates the experiences that creates Life is a process. Life is an eternal process.
You are born into this world and you begin the cognitive process that allows you to interpret this world and establish the beginnings of a belief system that will be the base line of your thinking until such time as you choose to change your basic beliefs.
You are back in the system. Once again you are God, Godding,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Grey Boots. You are Life,create opportunities, Living. You are Love, Loving. You are experiencing in the physical plane all that God knows in the absolute plane. That is your purpose for being. It's the best occupation you could ever have because everything is provided for you. You have the best working environment imaginable because your employer has placed you in paradise.
The finest of food, clothing and shelter is available to you and it is yours anytime you want by merely creating it into your life with the creative powers that you possess as you perform your chosen tasks. The body you are issued is a finely tuned machine that will run forever if you maintain it properly with the two simple concepts of diet and exercise.
You come to this world to play, so write the play that suits you best because not only are you the screenwriter and director of your play,Follow those steps religiously and you will be successful at goal setting., but you are also the star of your play. And, of course, you have the best retirement package that has ever been invented. You may choose to retire to the realm of the absolute to recharge your batteries and make your next decision about what life experience you desire next.
In this job you are the boss, the employee and the product. It is up to you how you run your operation. It is up to you how you set the parameters of you employment. Do you have a schedule or do you just show up when the feeling hits you? It only matters to you how you choose to run the business of your life.
Remember, you are not only the boss and the employee but you are also the product. Are you cheap, shoddy and unreliable or are you cutting edge, top-of-the-line and totally dependable? Are you the product that everybody wants because it is the best quality with the most features? It is entirely up to you how you wish to show up in this game we call life.
You are setting the rules and parameters of your life. You are creating everything that is happening in your life. You are creating moment-to-moment, so if you are not happy or satisfied with certain aspects of the play that you are writing daily (actually moment-to-moment), then change the script. Nobody is making you stick to a script that is not in alignment with what you desire.
They are all writing their own scripts daily (moment-to-moment) just like you. If you don't want somebody in your play any more then just write him or her out of your script. Remember, you have total choice in all matters.
So do it now. Change your script to reflect the highest vision that you have of yourself. There is no time schedule about when you can or can't choose to create something in your life. You don't have to wait until next week to change something that you no longer desire. You just have to want the change more than you want the thing that you wish to change.
Life is a process and your spiritual growth depends on your understanding of this foundational principle. There is spirituality information in this article that explores this process and illuminates small but often overlooked pieces of the life puzzle. Let us start with the premise that you are in the realm of the absolute and you once again choose to take on the form of a human body and play once again at this game called Life on Planet Earth.
As you set in motion this wonderful journey, you once again make an agreement with God to voluntarily forget who you really are. That does not stop you from being who you really are,2. We know defeat when our feet refuse to step out of the puddle of discouragement., it just allows you to forget it until you chose the experience of remembering it again, just as you are doing when you read this article and other articles like it.
You begin to create your life anew and you are entering a new phase of the eternal life process. The phenomenon we experienced, as the physical death of the human form previous to this, was nothing more than a transitional period that allowed us to review the life experiences of that previous form and then decide what we choose to experience next. The death creates the birth that creates the experiences that creates the death that creates the birth that creates the experiences that creates Life is a process. Life is an eternal process.
You are born into this world and you begin the cognitive process that allows you to interpret this world and establish the beginnings of a belief system that will be the base line of your thinking until such time as you choose to change your basic beliefs.
You are back in the system. Once again you are God, Godding,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Grey Boots. You are Life,create opportunities, Living. You are Love, Loving. You are experiencing in the physical plane all that God knows in the absolute plane. That is your purpose for being. It's the best occupation you could ever have because everything is provided for you. You have the best working environment imaginable because your employer has placed you in paradise.
The finest of food, clothing and shelter is available to you and it is yours anytime you want by merely creating it into your life with the creative powers that you possess as you perform your chosen tasks. The body you are issued is a finely tuned machine that will run forever if you maintain it properly with the two simple concepts of diet and exercise.
You come to this world to play, so write the play that suits you best because not only are you the screenwriter and director of your play,Follow those steps religiously and you will be successful at goal setting., but you are also the star of your play. And, of course, you have the best retirement package that has ever been invented. You may choose to retire to the realm of the absolute to recharge your batteries and make your next decision about what life experience you desire next.
In this job you are the boss, the employee and the product. It is up to you how you run your operation. It is up to you how you set the parameters of you employment. Do you have a schedule or do you just show up when the feeling hits you? It only matters to you how you choose to run the business of your life.
Remember, you are not only the boss and the employee but you are also the product. Are you cheap, shoddy and unreliable or are you cutting edge, top-of-the-line and totally dependable? Are you the product that everybody wants because it is the best quality with the most features? It is entirely up to you how you wish to show up in this game we call life.
You are setting the rules and parameters of your life. You are creating everything that is happening in your life. You are creating moment-to-moment, so if you are not happy or satisfied with certain aspects of the play that you are writing daily (actually moment-to-moment), then change the script. Nobody is making you stick to a script that is not in alignment with what you desire.
They are all writing their own scripts daily (moment-to-moment) just like you. If you don't want somebody in your play any more then just write him or her out of your script. Remember, you have total choice in all matters.
So do it now. Change your script to reflect the highest vision that you have of yourself. There is no time schedule about when you can or can't choose to create something in your life. You don't have to wait until next week to change something that you no longer desire. You just have to want the change more than you want the thing that you wish to change.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
however the boss might react
Invent And Innovate Yourself by Amy Twain
My friend is a speaker and she told me that so many years ago,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Grey Boots, when she was speaking for a group, the director started to ask her how she came about speaking on the topics or issues she did and how did she particularly define that. My friend replied that she had not really looked at something in particular.
My friend added that she was speaking and discussing in those topics that really moved her, intellectually, spiritually and emotionally and most especially on some topics of discussion which she believed will greatly help people. Then the director suddenly brought up the thought. "But why not invent or re-invent yourself, every so often?" my speaker friend was about to make a note, that she was doing fine as it pertains to monetary compensation and everything, but when the director in the audience all of a sudden brought up that idea to invent and re-inventing oneself,pictures and contents for individuals seeking alternative encounters., my friend also reflected.
The very word "invent" carries with it, the purpose or reason of a designed and desired result. That is where one should start, and then work backwards. My friend realized that though she had taken enough planning and thought on which direction or way she wanted her life and course to go, she actually never approached it from the angle of inventing herself, nor with the plan or intention of inventing.
The power of this approach is that how you live your life and more significantly, the kind of person you want or like to be is not left to fate, destiny, whims, current happenings or even circumstances. There are several people that do not live with end-purpose-intent/motive. They simply let their life, just freely move around or bounce from random choosing,This is an area that can also be neglected, however the boss might react, whatever will take place, to whatever feels good at that moment.
Okay, say for example you take an individual's manner of dressing. Several on one side of society just take sit as it sees, accepts what's given or simply remains and stays loyal to the way they dressed when they were in high school or college. While the other side especially the current pop culture and fashion, just lets whoever is the big name on Fashion Network determine the style and length of their pants, how they look or what type of design, color, cut etc.
So rather than letting all those other outside influences dictate your choices and designs, why not just "invent" the person you want to be in your clothes? It is incredible how much power,Don't let all of the gifts you've been given and the blessings you have go unnoticed. Starting today, control and direction it can give you. Then try working in that desired direction. Think and decide if the clothing is appropriate for your work, your values, your family and friends.
Or much more importantly, the family you want to have in the future and the values you want to have. The person you want to be and the job you want to do. Always "invent" with the style and design of who you want to be and the life you always dream to have.
My friend is a speaker and she told me that so many years ago,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Grey Boots, when she was speaking for a group, the director started to ask her how she came about speaking on the topics or issues she did and how did she particularly define that. My friend replied that she had not really looked at something in particular.
My friend added that she was speaking and discussing in those topics that really moved her, intellectually, spiritually and emotionally and most especially on some topics of discussion which she believed will greatly help people. Then the director suddenly brought up the thought. "But why not invent or re-invent yourself, every so often?" my speaker friend was about to make a note, that she was doing fine as it pertains to monetary compensation and everything, but when the director in the audience all of a sudden brought up that idea to invent and re-inventing oneself,pictures and contents for individuals seeking alternative encounters., my friend also reflected.
The very word "invent" carries with it, the purpose or reason of a designed and desired result. That is where one should start, and then work backwards. My friend realized that though she had taken enough planning and thought on which direction or way she wanted her life and course to go, she actually never approached it from the angle of inventing herself, nor with the plan or intention of inventing.
The power of this approach is that how you live your life and more significantly, the kind of person you want or like to be is not left to fate, destiny, whims, current happenings or even circumstances. There are several people that do not live with end-purpose-intent/motive. They simply let their life, just freely move around or bounce from random choosing,This is an area that can also be neglected, however the boss might react, whatever will take place, to whatever feels good at that moment.
Okay, say for example you take an individual's manner of dressing. Several on one side of society just take sit as it sees, accepts what's given or simply remains and stays loyal to the way they dressed when they were in high school or college. While the other side especially the current pop culture and fashion, just lets whoever is the big name on Fashion Network determine the style and length of their pants, how they look or what type of design, color, cut etc.
So rather than letting all those other outside influences dictate your choices and designs, why not just "invent" the person you want to be in your clothes? It is incredible how much power,Don't let all of the gifts you've been given and the blessings you have go unnoticed. Starting today, control and direction it can give you. Then try working in that desired direction. Think and decide if the clothing is appropriate for your work, your values, your family and friends.
Or much more importantly, the family you want to have in the future and the values you want to have. The person you want to be and the job you want to do. Always "invent" with the style and design of who you want to be and the life you always dream to have.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
The Lion In The Marble by Jane Derry
The Lion In The Marble by Jane Derry
The use of stories is a wonderful way to introduce and explore spiritual concepts. I love to tell stories and have plenty of opportunity in my work with people in recovery. I am going to share here a very effective and feeling-provoking little tale,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Grey Boots. Then there are some questions - I encourage you to answer them for yourself.
The Lion in the Marble
Once upon a time, (when I start my stories with this, people know a story is about to follow, and they usually lean in) there lived a little boy about 5 years old. The little boy was shy but curious and loved to wander the cobbled streets in his little Italian village.
One day he noticed a huge block of marble being delivered to the artisan of the village. The little boy followed the marble down the street, and watched it being set up in the Master Sculptor's workshop. The child was fascinated, and came to watch the man and the marble whenever he could for several weeks.
The little boy and his family left the village for a number of months to go and visit family in another part of the country. When the boy returned, he was anxious to go see the man and the marble. As soon as he was able,As the time to leave approached, he scampered down the streets to the workshop. He stopped in his tracks, he gasped,Focus and Context, he stepped back, he couldn't believe his eyes! Where the block of marble used to be, there sat a large and powerful lion.
The wide eyed little boy looked at the sculptor and whispered quietly, "Sir, tell me,you will naturally progress in that direction., how did you know there was a lion in that marble?"
The sculptor smiled at the child, "Boy, I knew this lion was in the stone, because I saw him there with my heart, and then I removed everything that was not the lion."
1. Who or what is chipping away the marble surrounding your true self?
2. Who or what has been adding on more marble?
3. What are the chips and chunks that have fallen away?
4. What are those chips and chunks that aren't you, made of?
5. What is in the center of your block of marble?
6. Choose one or more of the following:
a. Describe that center in a couple of paragraphs or essay.
b. Draw or paint the center.
c. Write a poem describing the center.
d. Any other creative expression that you can share with the group, representative of the center.
I hope this little tale has challenged you to explore the pure center of your being. If you would like to share your answers, please do!
Jane Derry
A Home Away Retreat - Rethink Rehab & Addiction
The use of stories is a wonderful way to introduce and explore spiritual concepts. I love to tell stories and have plenty of opportunity in my work with people in recovery. I am going to share here a very effective and feeling-provoking little tale,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Grey Boots. Then there are some questions - I encourage you to answer them for yourself.
The Lion in the Marble
Once upon a time, (when I start my stories with this, people know a story is about to follow, and they usually lean in) there lived a little boy about 5 years old. The little boy was shy but curious and loved to wander the cobbled streets in his little Italian village.
One day he noticed a huge block of marble being delivered to the artisan of the village. The little boy followed the marble down the street, and watched it being set up in the Master Sculptor's workshop. The child was fascinated, and came to watch the man and the marble whenever he could for several weeks.
The little boy and his family left the village for a number of months to go and visit family in another part of the country. When the boy returned, he was anxious to go see the man and the marble. As soon as he was able,As the time to leave approached, he scampered down the streets to the workshop. He stopped in his tracks, he gasped,Focus and Context, he stepped back, he couldn't believe his eyes! Where the block of marble used to be, there sat a large and powerful lion.
The wide eyed little boy looked at the sculptor and whispered quietly, "Sir, tell me,you will naturally progress in that direction., how did you know there was a lion in that marble?"
The sculptor smiled at the child, "Boy, I knew this lion was in the stone, because I saw him there with my heart, and then I removed everything that was not the lion."
1. Who or what is chipping away the marble surrounding your true self?
2. Who or what has been adding on more marble?
3. What are the chips and chunks that have fallen away?
4. What are those chips and chunks that aren't you, made of?
5. What is in the center of your block of marble?
6. Choose one or more of the following:
a. Describe that center in a couple of paragraphs or essay.
b. Draw or paint the center.
c. Write a poem describing the center.
d. Any other creative expression that you can share with the group, representative of the center.
I hope this little tale has challenged you to explore the pure center of your being. If you would like to share your answers, please do!
Jane Derry
A Home Away Retreat - Rethink Rehab & Addiction
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
AARP Director of 50+ Workforce Issues and a specialist in senior career issues
Four Potential Encore Career Paths to Consider by Lin Schreiber
You're ready for a change, want to (or have to) continue to work, but would love to strike out in a new direction. Not a clue where to start or what you think you'd like to do? How about some inspiration in the form of real-life stories about people just like you who are doing something different, and loving it? Here are five great Encore Career paths to consider:
Transform Your Current Work. One Encore Career path that you might not have thought of is taking what you love most about your current work and using that as a stepping off point for what's next. I always think of Hollywood producer Stephen Simon as a great example of transforming work you love into work you love even more.
Producer of acclaimed films including Academy Award® Winning "What Dreams May Come" starring Robin Williams and Cuba Gooding Jr., the classic "Somewhere In Time" starring Christopher Reeve and Jane Seymour, and "All the Right Moves" starring Tom Cruise, his dream was always to make meaningful inspirational films. In 2004, he started the Spiritual Cinema Circle,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Grey Boots, a fabulous outlet for the many visionary films that are made each year but never make it into your local theatre. Each month, members of the Circle receive a DVD with a feature length film or documentary, and numerous short subjects that they get to keep.
Meanwhile, in 2005 Stephen fulfilled an important part of his dream when he directed and produced "Conversations with God" starring Neale Donald Walsch.
Be a Social Innovator. When Michele McRae retired, she wondered what she was going to do. On a whim, she took on a small pilot project and discovered a new passion — helping immigrants from around the world settle into American life.
An influx of refugees from more than 42 countries had changed the demographics of Michele's hometown of Fargo, ND,listening to the barking chorus that followed us even 3, creating tremendous challenges. Many people were afraid, but Michele thought if she could get just one retiree at a time to help one refugee learn English, things would improve.
Now as director of the Giving+Learning center where volunteers help refugees learn English -- a volunteer operation of more than 500 people - Michele is breaking down barriers across age, culture, race and ethnicity,aren't you. And, other cities around the country are adapting her model with success.
Become an Entrepreneur. Peg Heglund was bored with retirement, but her beliefs about working and age were definitely limiting her encore career possibilities. A former Registered Nurse, Peg re-assessed her skills and experience and opened a small consignment shop where for the next four years she acquired some good, solid business skills.
Following a conversation with Deborah Russell, AARP Director of 50+ Workforce Issues and a specialist in senior career issues, Peg created her business, Back to Work, a job placement service for people 55 and older.
Peg believes that meaningful work and being of service is life's greatest gift, and she's helping other retired people find that for themselves.
Express Yourself Creatively. After 28-years with the same high-tech company, Trish Reynolds jumped at the chance to golden parachute out and has never looked back. Her early retirement bought her the freedom to do what she'd always thought of as her "real" career: writing, which is what she'd been doing quietly all through the high-tech years.
Her first novel, The Doctor and the Witch Book I: A Question of Balance,Once you've moved yourself into a more relaxed state, was published by Dubsar House in Berkeley, CA. What's your real career? Writing, painting, acting, sculpting, fashion designing, or what?
Remember, these are just four possible directions your Encore Career might take you. Take the time to explore all the possibilities, and don't forget to follow your heart.
You're ready for a change, want to (or have to) continue to work, but would love to strike out in a new direction. Not a clue where to start or what you think you'd like to do? How about some inspiration in the form of real-life stories about people just like you who are doing something different, and loving it? Here are five great Encore Career paths to consider:
Transform Your Current Work. One Encore Career path that you might not have thought of is taking what you love most about your current work and using that as a stepping off point for what's next. I always think of Hollywood producer Stephen Simon as a great example of transforming work you love into work you love even more.
Producer of acclaimed films including Academy Award® Winning "What Dreams May Come" starring Robin Williams and Cuba Gooding Jr., the classic "Somewhere In Time" starring Christopher Reeve and Jane Seymour, and "All the Right Moves" starring Tom Cruise, his dream was always to make meaningful inspirational films. In 2004, he started the Spiritual Cinema Circle,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Grey Boots, a fabulous outlet for the many visionary films that are made each year but never make it into your local theatre. Each month, members of the Circle receive a DVD with a feature length film or documentary, and numerous short subjects that they get to keep.
Meanwhile, in 2005 Stephen fulfilled an important part of his dream when he directed and produced "Conversations with God" starring Neale Donald Walsch.
Be a Social Innovator. When Michele McRae retired, she wondered what she was going to do. On a whim, she took on a small pilot project and discovered a new passion — helping immigrants from around the world settle into American life.
An influx of refugees from more than 42 countries had changed the demographics of Michele's hometown of Fargo, ND,listening to the barking chorus that followed us even 3, creating tremendous challenges. Many people were afraid, but Michele thought if she could get just one retiree at a time to help one refugee learn English, things would improve.
Now as director of the Giving+Learning center where volunteers help refugees learn English -- a volunteer operation of more than 500 people - Michele is breaking down barriers across age, culture, race and ethnicity,aren't you. And, other cities around the country are adapting her model with success.
Become an Entrepreneur. Peg Heglund was bored with retirement, but her beliefs about working and age were definitely limiting her encore career possibilities. A former Registered Nurse, Peg re-assessed her skills and experience and opened a small consignment shop where for the next four years she acquired some good, solid business skills.
Following a conversation with Deborah Russell, AARP Director of 50+ Workforce Issues and a specialist in senior career issues, Peg created her business, Back to Work, a job placement service for people 55 and older.
Peg believes that meaningful work and being of service is life's greatest gift, and she's helping other retired people find that for themselves.
Express Yourself Creatively. After 28-years with the same high-tech company, Trish Reynolds jumped at the chance to golden parachute out and has never looked back. Her early retirement bought her the freedom to do what she'd always thought of as her "real" career: writing, which is what she'd been doing quietly all through the high-tech years.
Her first novel, The Doctor and the Witch Book I: A Question of Balance,Once you've moved yourself into a more relaxed state, was published by Dubsar House in Berkeley, CA. What's your real career? Writing, painting, acting, sculpting, fashion designing, or what?
Remember, these are just four possible directions your Encore Career might take you. Take the time to explore all the possibilities, and don't forget to follow your heart.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
resentful
Who Am I Being ? by William Frank Diedrich
Who am I being right now? Who was I being in that situation? These are questions I ask myself every day? I want to know,and use your natural strengths and talents to guide you through any challenges.. If I am interacting and the interaction feels uncomfortable--who am I being that this feels so bad? Over the years I have created many images of myself which I find myself defending, attacking, or portraying to others. In my book,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Grey Boots, The Road Home, I call these false views of self. The Arbinger Institute, authors of Leadership and Self Deception (a must read book), call these self justifying images.
A few weeks ago I found myself in a conversation where the other person became very impatient with me. I, then, became impatient with her impatience. I called attention to her impatience and made it clear I didn't like it. The next day I asked myself: "Who was I being that the person talking to me became very impatient?" The answer came: "I'm the kind of person who deserves to be treated with respect". This person wasn't giving me what I deserved, so obviously she was out of line.
This is the kind of thinking that gets us into more conflict. A Course in Miracles says there are only two kinds of thinking--love and fear. In love, I am caring and responsive toward myself and others. I am able to see the good in the other person. In fear I feel threatened and resistant both toward myself and the other. I tend to add up the faults of the other person and, of course, affirm my virtues. I tell myself this other person is disrespectful, impatient, unappreciative of me, and doesn't listen. I tell myself that I am respectful, communicating well, and would never treat her disrespectfully. This is how the image justifies itself. Does this sound a little silly? I hope so, because it is silly. It is also common, everyday,acquire a new skill, insane communications between people.
Here's the rule of thumb: if I think someone else is a problem person, then I'm the problem. This doesn't mean people don't do inconsiderate and even horrible things. This doesn't mean that I never talk to someone else about their poor behavior. It means that my discomfort, my anger, my resentment, and my irritation are not about them. Who am I being that I felt and spoke and acted the way I did? As Stephen Covey has said: "How you see the problem is the problem.". Yet, it goes beyond perception. It's who I am being that is the problem.
If I am going through my day and I feel great, my relationships feel great, and I feel in alignment with my Self I get to say, "Great! I'm doing it. I'm in the flow. I'm responding to people and to life. I'm expressing love." If things aren't going well, people are impatient with me, and I feel uncomfortable, I get to ask myself the question: "Who am I being that these things are happening?" Am I the kind of person who prizes suffering? Do I maintain it by refusing to forgive others? Am I the kind of person who likes drama? Am I starring in a drama where everyone else is wrong and I, alone, am right? Am I the hero who is going to set everyone else straight? Who am I being?
There are many self justifying images that people create. Examples include "I am the kind of person who is hardworking (not lazy), compassionate (not selfish), smart (not stupid) or not appreciated (for all that I do). We find these images in areas where we are particularly sensitive, defensive, or emotional. My example is the image that I am the kind of person who deserves respect. If this is the image I am managing then I will be on the lookout for disrespect. When I think I'm getting disrespect I will be angry, resentful, irritated. I will tend to interpret the moods of others as disrespect toward me. Wherever I carry this self justifying image I will spend my energy demanding respect rather than giving it. I will focus my energy on me rather than the other person. I will resist people rather than responding to them. I will feel threatened and fearful, and my behavior will arise from a place of fear and threat. If a person offers me disrespect, my demand for respect will not encourage respectful behavior. It will invite disrespect. But, you may ask: "Don't you deserve respect? What does one do when receiving disrespect? How do we motivate someone to be respectful?"
These are good questions. A Course in Miracles says that fear is a call for love. I have the option whether or not to answer the call. I answer the call by responding. I respond by taking the focus off me and putting it on the other person. I may ask what the problem is. I might tell the other person to back off. I may sense a deeper issue in the person and speak to it. I may let it go and not say anything. It is not what I do that makes the difference. It is who I am being in that moment. If I am responding from a place of caring about the well being of this person; of acknowledging their needs and concerns being as important as my own; and of doing what intuitively feels right, then I will respond with love. Whether my behavior is soft or hard is not important. Love can be either. Responsiveness can be either. This is not about portraying myself as a caring person (another self justifying image). It is about actually caring.
It can be difficult to get past our self justifying images because we have spent so many years crafting and protecting them. The truth is, these images are a lot of work to keep up. We must be constantly vigilant and on the defense. Wouldn't it be great to let go of the job of image management and just respond to people. Once you have decided to become aware of self justifying images and let them go the results are immediate. You extend an open invitation to all others to do the same. A sense of ease flows through you. Relationships become easier when you are responding, recognizing the humanity in others, and seeing the good in them. Others begin changing because you have given them someone different to respond to. Your love inspires, uplifts, and enlivens each person you encounter,Other forms of religious meditation include. It's not what you do for others that uplifts them; it is who you are being.
Who am I being right now? Who was I being in that situation? These are questions I ask myself every day? I want to know,and use your natural strengths and talents to guide you through any challenges.. If I am interacting and the interaction feels uncomfortable--who am I being that this feels so bad? Over the years I have created many images of myself which I find myself defending, attacking, or portraying to others. In my book,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Grey Boots, The Road Home, I call these false views of self. The Arbinger Institute, authors of Leadership and Self Deception (a must read book), call these self justifying images.
A few weeks ago I found myself in a conversation where the other person became very impatient with me. I, then, became impatient with her impatience. I called attention to her impatience and made it clear I didn't like it. The next day I asked myself: "Who was I being that the person talking to me became very impatient?" The answer came: "I'm the kind of person who deserves to be treated with respect". This person wasn't giving me what I deserved, so obviously she was out of line.
This is the kind of thinking that gets us into more conflict. A Course in Miracles says there are only two kinds of thinking--love and fear. In love, I am caring and responsive toward myself and others. I am able to see the good in the other person. In fear I feel threatened and resistant both toward myself and the other. I tend to add up the faults of the other person and, of course, affirm my virtues. I tell myself this other person is disrespectful, impatient, unappreciative of me, and doesn't listen. I tell myself that I am respectful, communicating well, and would never treat her disrespectfully. This is how the image justifies itself. Does this sound a little silly? I hope so, because it is silly. It is also common, everyday,acquire a new skill, insane communications between people.
Here's the rule of thumb: if I think someone else is a problem person, then I'm the problem. This doesn't mean people don't do inconsiderate and even horrible things. This doesn't mean that I never talk to someone else about their poor behavior. It means that my discomfort, my anger, my resentment, and my irritation are not about them. Who am I being that I felt and spoke and acted the way I did? As Stephen Covey has said: "How you see the problem is the problem.". Yet, it goes beyond perception. It's who I am being that is the problem.
If I am going through my day and I feel great, my relationships feel great, and I feel in alignment with my Self I get to say, "Great! I'm doing it. I'm in the flow. I'm responding to people and to life. I'm expressing love." If things aren't going well, people are impatient with me, and I feel uncomfortable, I get to ask myself the question: "Who am I being that these things are happening?" Am I the kind of person who prizes suffering? Do I maintain it by refusing to forgive others? Am I the kind of person who likes drama? Am I starring in a drama where everyone else is wrong and I, alone, am right? Am I the hero who is going to set everyone else straight? Who am I being?
There are many self justifying images that people create. Examples include "I am the kind of person who is hardworking (not lazy), compassionate (not selfish), smart (not stupid) or not appreciated (for all that I do). We find these images in areas where we are particularly sensitive, defensive, or emotional. My example is the image that I am the kind of person who deserves respect. If this is the image I am managing then I will be on the lookout for disrespect. When I think I'm getting disrespect I will be angry, resentful, irritated. I will tend to interpret the moods of others as disrespect toward me. Wherever I carry this self justifying image I will spend my energy demanding respect rather than giving it. I will focus my energy on me rather than the other person. I will resist people rather than responding to them. I will feel threatened and fearful, and my behavior will arise from a place of fear and threat. If a person offers me disrespect, my demand for respect will not encourage respectful behavior. It will invite disrespect. But, you may ask: "Don't you deserve respect? What does one do when receiving disrespect? How do we motivate someone to be respectful?"
These are good questions. A Course in Miracles says that fear is a call for love. I have the option whether or not to answer the call. I answer the call by responding. I respond by taking the focus off me and putting it on the other person. I may ask what the problem is. I might tell the other person to back off. I may sense a deeper issue in the person and speak to it. I may let it go and not say anything. It is not what I do that makes the difference. It is who I am being in that moment. If I am responding from a place of caring about the well being of this person; of acknowledging their needs and concerns being as important as my own; and of doing what intuitively feels right, then I will respond with love. Whether my behavior is soft or hard is not important. Love can be either. Responsiveness can be either. This is not about portraying myself as a caring person (another self justifying image). It is about actually caring.
It can be difficult to get past our self justifying images because we have spent so many years crafting and protecting them. The truth is, these images are a lot of work to keep up. We must be constantly vigilant and on the defense. Wouldn't it be great to let go of the job of image management and just respond to people. Once you have decided to become aware of self justifying images and let them go the results are immediate. You extend an open invitation to all others to do the same. A sense of ease flows through you. Relationships become easier when you are responding, recognizing the humanity in others, and seeing the good in them. Others begin changing because you have given them someone different to respond to. Your love inspires, uplifts, and enlivens each person you encounter,Other forms of religious meditation include. It's not what you do for others that uplifts them; it is who you are being.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
"What does SHE know that I don't know
What In The Heck Can A Personal Coach Do?
I just wanted to spread the word about Life Coaching and what it can do to help just about anyone. No,Overcome your Inattentiveness, not every coach is suited for every client but the right coach/client combination is such powerful tool.
I hear different variations of the following questions and statements a lot: "What can a coach do for me?",5854 Ugg Classic Mini Grey Boots, "I can't afford to pay a coach!", "What does SHE know that I don't know,"I'm happy?", "I don't need a stinkin' Coach!" Ok, well I tossed the word "stinkin'" in there (smile) but I do know there are many people who could benefit from the power of coaching but feel they don't need it.
Well hopefully the following can open some eyes to the magic of this wonderful tool!
Coaching is an effective process used to support individuals in creating something new for themselves. I work side by side with my clients coaching them by providing perspective and support for self-knowledge as they accomplish their business and personal goals.
I personal help women achieve balance and cultivate the tools necessary for them to evolve into a life filled with happiness and serenity. I believe all women have the tools they need inside to lead a more fulfilling life. I simply guide them along an empowering path that will awaken these tools, focus on their passion and ultimately lead them to a more fulfilled self. If you are ready to find your way to a more balanced you, I will be your guide.
Life coaches are great and act as your personal cheerleader. There are many benefits to having a Personal Life Coach and here are just a few,Catholic Voters Need to Rethink Morality. Coaching is a valuable process for people looking to:
* design life intentions that include both your business and personal goals.
* make meaningful personal changes that reduce stress and simplify your life.
* free up energy and other resources to attract what you want for your life now.
* enhance the quality of your communication and relationships
* work through a career or life transition
* achieve better work/life balance
* gain clarity, focus and direction
Coaching is also for those that are successful and growing entrepreneurs, where everything is going really well, and you would just appreciate a neutral sounding board who will give you straight-up honest feedback and on-going support.
There really is nothing like coaching. The best way to learn about it is to experience it for yourself! Most coaches will offer a free consultation or a free session to see if coaching is for you.
You have nothing to lose and the world to gain!
I just wanted to spread the word about Life Coaching and what it can do to help just about anyone. No,Overcome your Inattentiveness, not every coach is suited for every client but the right coach/client combination is such powerful tool.
I hear different variations of the following questions and statements a lot: "What can a coach do for me?",5854 Ugg Classic Mini Grey Boots, "I can't afford to pay a coach!", "What does SHE know that I don't know,"I'm happy?", "I don't need a stinkin' Coach!" Ok, well I tossed the word "stinkin'" in there (smile) but I do know there are many people who could benefit from the power of coaching but feel they don't need it.
Well hopefully the following can open some eyes to the magic of this wonderful tool!
Coaching is an effective process used to support individuals in creating something new for themselves. I work side by side with my clients coaching them by providing perspective and support for self-knowledge as they accomplish their business and personal goals.
I personal help women achieve balance and cultivate the tools necessary for them to evolve into a life filled with happiness and serenity. I believe all women have the tools they need inside to lead a more fulfilling life. I simply guide them along an empowering path that will awaken these tools, focus on their passion and ultimately lead them to a more fulfilled self. If you are ready to find your way to a more balanced you, I will be your guide.
Life coaches are great and act as your personal cheerleader. There are many benefits to having a Personal Life Coach and here are just a few,Catholic Voters Need to Rethink Morality. Coaching is a valuable process for people looking to:
* design life intentions that include both your business and personal goals.
* make meaningful personal changes that reduce stress and simplify your life.
* free up energy and other resources to attract what you want for your life now.
* enhance the quality of your communication and relationships
* work through a career or life transition
* achieve better work/life balance
* gain clarity, focus and direction
Coaching is also for those that are successful and growing entrepreneurs, where everything is going really well, and you would just appreciate a neutral sounding board who will give you straight-up honest feedback and on-going support.
There really is nothing like coaching. The best way to learn about it is to experience it for yourself! Most coaches will offer a free consultation or a free session to see if coaching is for you.
You have nothing to lose and the world to gain!
Friday, November 9, 2012
others will forgive you as well.
What Do You Do When People Behave Badly? by Joyce M. Averils, JD
I was so excited. A women's conference was being held in a nearby city and a speaker/author I've always wanted to hear was one of the featured speakers. I registered right away and arrived early on the morning she was scheduled to speak.
The conference was wonderful and all of the speakers were great. My speaker was just awesome and I couldn't wait to meet her and tell her that.
Right after she finished speaking, I went out to her table and purchased her latest book. As she was sitting beside her book table, I handed her my book and said, "Your message was awesome." Silence. I repeated my statement and still nothing. She didn't look up at me; she didn't ask my name or anything else,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Grey Boots. She signed my book and handed it back to me, without even a smile.
My first thought was to give her that book back and demand a refund. My next thought, however, was that I really wouldn't feel any better by being as rude as the speaker had been. So, I said a quick prayer for her and for me then went to lunch!
Upon later reflection, I was reminded that people don't always behave the way we want them to or expect them to. As a matter of fact,รข€˜ there are people who share the same world as you. This may seem an obvious point to make, I'm not always as kind and gracious as I should be. I suspect that you aren't either.
So, when you're on the receiving end of someone behaving badly, what do you do? First,place themselves at the, forgive them. For all I know, perhaps I reminded the speaker of her crazy cousin or something. Maybe the woman who spoke with her before me said something that upset her. Whatever the reason, when someone doesn't do or say something you want them to, choose to forgive them so that when you do the same, others will forgive you as well.
Next, forget about it! Once upon a time, I might have sought the speaker out for further explanation, in person or in writing,Epictetus. That reaction, however, only prolongs a bad memory. Once this article is finished, I have no intention of dwelling on this incident. If you find yourself in a similar situation, decide what's best for you - stewing over the person's bad behavior or forgetting it and focusing on the good stuff instead.
Finally, move on. In the big scheme of things, this little incident is not really that important. You and I are busy women who are much too busy to get caught up in "being done wrong." So when that happens, move on to your next great adventure, big dream or worthy goal as quickly as you can.
2006 Joyce M. Averils
Want to use this article on your website or your own ezine? No problem! But here's what you MUST include: Joyce M. Averils, is a Life Coach and author of the free email mini-course, "The 5 Most Common Fears That Stop Women From Realizing Their Full Potential & How to Overcome Them", . To sign up for her free "21 Days to a New Habit Workbook" and how-to articles, visit .
I was so excited. A women's conference was being held in a nearby city and a speaker/author I've always wanted to hear was one of the featured speakers. I registered right away and arrived early on the morning she was scheduled to speak.
The conference was wonderful and all of the speakers were great. My speaker was just awesome and I couldn't wait to meet her and tell her that.
Right after she finished speaking, I went out to her table and purchased her latest book. As she was sitting beside her book table, I handed her my book and said, "Your message was awesome." Silence. I repeated my statement and still nothing. She didn't look up at me; she didn't ask my name or anything else,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Grey Boots. She signed my book and handed it back to me, without even a smile.
My first thought was to give her that book back and demand a refund. My next thought, however, was that I really wouldn't feel any better by being as rude as the speaker had been. So, I said a quick prayer for her and for me then went to lunch!
Upon later reflection, I was reminded that people don't always behave the way we want them to or expect them to. As a matter of fact,รข€˜ there are people who share the same world as you. This may seem an obvious point to make, I'm not always as kind and gracious as I should be. I suspect that you aren't either.
So, when you're on the receiving end of someone behaving badly, what do you do? First,place themselves at the, forgive them. For all I know, perhaps I reminded the speaker of her crazy cousin or something. Maybe the woman who spoke with her before me said something that upset her. Whatever the reason, when someone doesn't do or say something you want them to, choose to forgive them so that when you do the same, others will forgive you as well.
Next, forget about it! Once upon a time, I might have sought the speaker out for further explanation, in person or in writing,Epictetus. That reaction, however, only prolongs a bad memory. Once this article is finished, I have no intention of dwelling on this incident. If you find yourself in a similar situation, decide what's best for you - stewing over the person's bad behavior or forgetting it and focusing on the good stuff instead.
Finally, move on. In the big scheme of things, this little incident is not really that important. You and I are busy women who are much too busy to get caught up in "being done wrong." So when that happens, move on to your next great adventure, big dream or worthy goal as quickly as you can.
2006 Joyce M. Averils
Want to use this article on your website or your own ezine? No problem! But here's what you MUST include: Joyce M. Averils, is a Life Coach and author of the free email mini-course, "The 5 Most Common Fears That Stop Women From Realizing Their Full Potential & How to Overcome Them", . To sign up for her free "21 Days to a New Habit Workbook" and how-to articles, visit .
Thursday, November 8, 2012
meditation helps you to find a deeper appreciation of the waking life
What is the Difference Between Eastern and Christian Meditation? by Rhonda Jones
With meditation being prescribed by doctors to relieve stress and spiritual leaders touting meditation as a way of spiritual growth, more and more Christians are becoming interested in this practice but are concerned as to whether it goes against their Christian faith. However, Christian and eastern meditation is very different in both their objectives and methods.
Eastern meditation is actually more common throughout the world than Christian meditation. Eastern meditation isn't just something Buddhists do, it requires no belief in any sort of god, it does not require that you follow any specific belief system. Eastern meditation is much more of a personal experience than it is a religious experience.
Eastern meditation is often used as a path to spiritual enlightenment, but doesn't necessarily prescribe to any particular affiliation. Regardless of your religious or non-religious tradition,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Grey Boots, individuals can attain the same personal benefits from meditation while embracing their own paths of spirituality.
The method of meditation is where the two forms differ most. In Eastern meditation, one empties the mind. You empty your mind, you think nothing, essentially, and allow yourself to simply be, to just exist. Western culture is very goal oriented, and this is reflected in everything from meditation to religion to art. Look at Asian films, paintings, music and comic books, and there's more focus on "being" rather than "doing".
This can be helpful for anyone of Eastern or Western descent alike, as it allows you to take a moment to simply appreciate life for what it is, to appreciate simply being, the gift of having been born or just being a child of God. For a Christian, this can even help one become closer to God by just taking in the gifts God has laid out for us, not trying to figure it out or understand it, but just to appreciate it and experience it, to allow the experience to flow through you rather than to be analyzed and studied and contemplated.
Christian meditation is more goal-oriented. It has to do with, specifically, finding a closer understanding of God and a closer understanding of self. It's much more structured in terms of method.
A major component of Christian meditation is to reflect on the love, peace, provision, and goodness as well as the Word of God. This is also not a component of Eastern meditation,going for a walk etc.
For a Christian, meditating on God can be rewarding and life changing. Meditation can be contemplative (meditating on scripture, attributes of God, or a sacred word), for relaxation (to let go of stress and anxiety), or the practice of just abiding, waiting, and soaking in God's presence.
Although different in both nature and practice, they have something integral in common,thus if Alex succeeds in selling them all. For the Christian, meditation helps you to find a deeper appreciation of the waking life, of yourself and can draw you closer to the Lord. By learning to meditate on God and quiet your mind, you give the Lord greater opportunity to speak to and guide you by his still small voice. Christians don't empty their mind in meditation, but give their attention to the love, peace, and wisdom of God. Complete understanding of God is inherently impossible, but these methods of meditation can bring you ever closer to Him and to a better understanding of oneself,But he said. Meditation allows us to worship God in Spirit and in truth.
With meditation being prescribed by doctors to relieve stress and spiritual leaders touting meditation as a way of spiritual growth, more and more Christians are becoming interested in this practice but are concerned as to whether it goes against their Christian faith. However, Christian and eastern meditation is very different in both their objectives and methods.
Eastern meditation is actually more common throughout the world than Christian meditation. Eastern meditation isn't just something Buddhists do, it requires no belief in any sort of god, it does not require that you follow any specific belief system. Eastern meditation is much more of a personal experience than it is a religious experience.
Eastern meditation is often used as a path to spiritual enlightenment, but doesn't necessarily prescribe to any particular affiliation. Regardless of your religious or non-religious tradition,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Grey Boots, individuals can attain the same personal benefits from meditation while embracing their own paths of spirituality.
The method of meditation is where the two forms differ most. In Eastern meditation, one empties the mind. You empty your mind, you think nothing, essentially, and allow yourself to simply be, to just exist. Western culture is very goal oriented, and this is reflected in everything from meditation to religion to art. Look at Asian films, paintings, music and comic books, and there's more focus on "being" rather than "doing".
This can be helpful for anyone of Eastern or Western descent alike, as it allows you to take a moment to simply appreciate life for what it is, to appreciate simply being, the gift of having been born or just being a child of God. For a Christian, this can even help one become closer to God by just taking in the gifts God has laid out for us, not trying to figure it out or understand it, but just to appreciate it and experience it, to allow the experience to flow through you rather than to be analyzed and studied and contemplated.
Christian meditation is more goal-oriented. It has to do with, specifically, finding a closer understanding of God and a closer understanding of self. It's much more structured in terms of method.
A major component of Christian meditation is to reflect on the love, peace, provision, and goodness as well as the Word of God. This is also not a component of Eastern meditation,going for a walk etc.
For a Christian, meditating on God can be rewarding and life changing. Meditation can be contemplative (meditating on scripture, attributes of God, or a sacred word), for relaxation (to let go of stress and anxiety), or the practice of just abiding, waiting, and soaking in God's presence.
Although different in both nature and practice, they have something integral in common,thus if Alex succeeds in selling them all. For the Christian, meditation helps you to find a deeper appreciation of the waking life, of yourself and can draw you closer to the Lord. By learning to meditate on God and quiet your mind, you give the Lord greater opportunity to speak to and guide you by his still small voice. Christians don't empty their mind in meditation, but give their attention to the love, peace, and wisdom of God. Complete understanding of God is inherently impossible, but these methods of meditation can bring you ever closer to Him and to a better understanding of oneself,But he said. Meditation allows us to worship God in Spirit and in truth.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
being able to experience effective progress towards that goal
Stay On Target! Stay On Target!
You Star Wars fans remember that chant from one of the Star Wars films. I have to apologize here. I HAVE seen and enjoyed all the Star Wars movies, but am not enough of a fan to remember tasty tidbits like who said it and in which episode. However, I DO remember that the speaker was exhorting a comrade to "Stay on target" and to ignore all those pesky little attacking fighters trying to blow him to smithereens!
Fortunately for most of us, the attackers we have to dodge on a day to day basis are a little less lethal. Unfortunately, they can be distracting enough to divert us away from a path to success, whether in life, relationships, or in business.
There has been an awful lot written about goals over the years, and most would agree that having a goal is paramount importance in achieving success. Even so,does almost everybody in this world leave their homes each morning mentally "nude", you might be surprised at how few people have really thought about what their true goals are, much less about how to stay on target to achieve these goals.
The other day, I was reminded of this as I walked across a large parking lot with a companion. We were both headed towards the door of a building about 100 yards away. As we walked, I noticed that my companion seemed to almost be walking into me as he veered away from the path to the door. It didn't take much to figure out what was happening,5. Success. His head was down, and he was concentrating on the ground immediately in front of his feet, and never once looked at the door to see where it was in relation to his path. I, on the other hand, kept glancing at the door in the distance, and made that my object of interest as I scanned the surrounding area for possible pitfalls. I was walking towards the door, and my friend was walking, thinking he was headed for the door he had seen several steps ago, but actually veering off course again and again.
I had been taught this sort of thing years ago by my father, but the army had really strengthened it in me. Not only had I been involved in moving through areas where it was necessary to keep a fix on some distant target, but it had also been necessary to be constantly aware of my surroundings as well, gauging and evaluating as I went, and sometimes actually having to take an intentional detour around some obstacle in order to arrive at my destination. Failure to keep my eye on my target would result in my failing to arrive at it, particularly with the distractions of terrain and events to divert me from a direct path.
Once a goal, consider it a target, has been formed, whether to make a certain number of dollars in a given time, or to lose a certain number of pounds, or to clear away the clutter in the garage, we tend to get distracted by other things, events, people in our lives and lose sight of the goal that seemed so plain and easily achieved,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Grey Boots. If we let these distractions take hold, achieving that goal, when we remember it, not only seems much more difficult than when we originally envisaged it, but may actually seem to be completely unachievable, causing us to give up and experience a feeling of failure.
True enough, we may fail anyway. After all, a goal is simply a target towards which we strive, and in the real world, we may actually find that our original goal IS realistically unattainable. However, being able to experience effective progress towards that goal, not only gives us a boost of confidence,and she compensated and smiled. Now, but, nearing the goal, allows us to more accurately assess our ability to reach it. We might even find that we need to set a more realistic goal, or even a more challenging one. But if we are not approaching the goal, we may simply quit.
One of the simplest solutions to this problem is to "glance at the door" once in a while. In other words, we very often have to pay attention to a lot of other distractions in our daily lives, so to stay on target, we need to periodically and intentionally review what our goal is. It is easier to set our course towards a specific and recognizable goal that doesn't waver, also, and for this reason it is often recommended that goals be written down and stated with some specific language and expectations. This written goal should be taken out and reexamined thoroughly at least once a day, and perhaps even more often. Maybe you could have it written on a card in your wallet and tape a copy to your bathroom mirror or the door of your refrigerator.
Every time you repeat your goal to yourself, reexamine it to make sure that it hasn't moved. Although you want to avoid wavering back and forth in uncertainty, you DO want to be able to realistically modify your goal to reflect reality and progress.
Copyright 2006 Donovan Baldwin
You Star Wars fans remember that chant from one of the Star Wars films. I have to apologize here. I HAVE seen and enjoyed all the Star Wars movies, but am not enough of a fan to remember tasty tidbits like who said it and in which episode. However, I DO remember that the speaker was exhorting a comrade to "Stay on target" and to ignore all those pesky little attacking fighters trying to blow him to smithereens!
Fortunately for most of us, the attackers we have to dodge on a day to day basis are a little less lethal. Unfortunately, they can be distracting enough to divert us away from a path to success, whether in life, relationships, or in business.
There has been an awful lot written about goals over the years, and most would agree that having a goal is paramount importance in achieving success. Even so,does almost everybody in this world leave their homes each morning mentally "nude", you might be surprised at how few people have really thought about what their true goals are, much less about how to stay on target to achieve these goals.
The other day, I was reminded of this as I walked across a large parking lot with a companion. We were both headed towards the door of a building about 100 yards away. As we walked, I noticed that my companion seemed to almost be walking into me as he veered away from the path to the door. It didn't take much to figure out what was happening,5. Success. His head was down, and he was concentrating on the ground immediately in front of his feet, and never once looked at the door to see where it was in relation to his path. I, on the other hand, kept glancing at the door in the distance, and made that my object of interest as I scanned the surrounding area for possible pitfalls. I was walking towards the door, and my friend was walking, thinking he was headed for the door he had seen several steps ago, but actually veering off course again and again.
I had been taught this sort of thing years ago by my father, but the army had really strengthened it in me. Not only had I been involved in moving through areas where it was necessary to keep a fix on some distant target, but it had also been necessary to be constantly aware of my surroundings as well, gauging and evaluating as I went, and sometimes actually having to take an intentional detour around some obstacle in order to arrive at my destination. Failure to keep my eye on my target would result in my failing to arrive at it, particularly with the distractions of terrain and events to divert me from a direct path.
Once a goal, consider it a target, has been formed, whether to make a certain number of dollars in a given time, or to lose a certain number of pounds, or to clear away the clutter in the garage, we tend to get distracted by other things, events, people in our lives and lose sight of the goal that seemed so plain and easily achieved,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Grey Boots. If we let these distractions take hold, achieving that goal, when we remember it, not only seems much more difficult than when we originally envisaged it, but may actually seem to be completely unachievable, causing us to give up and experience a feeling of failure.
True enough, we may fail anyway. After all, a goal is simply a target towards which we strive, and in the real world, we may actually find that our original goal IS realistically unattainable. However, being able to experience effective progress towards that goal, not only gives us a boost of confidence,and she compensated and smiled. Now, but, nearing the goal, allows us to more accurately assess our ability to reach it. We might even find that we need to set a more realistic goal, or even a more challenging one. But if we are not approaching the goal, we may simply quit.
One of the simplest solutions to this problem is to "glance at the door" once in a while. In other words, we very often have to pay attention to a lot of other distractions in our daily lives, so to stay on target, we need to periodically and intentionally review what our goal is. It is easier to set our course towards a specific and recognizable goal that doesn't waver, also, and for this reason it is often recommended that goals be written down and stated with some specific language and expectations. This written goal should be taken out and reexamined thoroughly at least once a day, and perhaps even more often. Maybe you could have it written on a card in your wallet and tape a copy to your bathroom mirror or the door of your refrigerator.
Every time you repeat your goal to yourself, reexamine it to make sure that it hasn't moved. Although you want to avoid wavering back and forth in uncertainty, you DO want to be able to realistically modify your goal to reflect reality and progress.
Copyright 2006 Donovan Baldwin
Monday, November 5, 2012
to the things we forget the most and in some cases
Developing A Photographic Memory In 3 Simple Steps by Greg Frost
The funny thing is that all of us are capable of somewhat developing a photographic memory but let us set things straight from the get go. There is no such thing as a perfect memory because the human genome structure by itself is imperfect,core values and company structure. That may be all part of the 'what' that needs to be covered, and having a condition which allows us to remember absolutely everything is rather impossible because of both the way we remember things and the way our brains are built.
Cell death within the cortex and the neurons is quite unavoidable and this starts at an alarmingly young age, sometimes in the mid twenties, depending on how we are build and what our D.N.A is like. When there is cell death around the neurons, the communicators in the brain,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Grey Boots, certain information flows will be affected and what we remember will definitely be compromised,is not complete forgiveness.. Having a perfect memory is quite impossible also because of the sheer amount of information that is available in the world and also, how the brain remembers.
The brain remembers through something of an experiential and sensory mechanism, where the five (and some argue six) senses are associated with events and stored in the brain. It is like you remember a particular event and certain things about it because you saw or smelled something. It works in quite the same way as you would think, and the great thing about memory is that we actually travel back in time to remember things to the exact event in question.
This is why people are placed under hypnosis to remember things that their eyes and ears might have picked up, but they cannot form the neuron connections to remember them exactly. Now that we have understood the exact science behind this, we can then reverse engineer them and have a perfectly photographic memory. Then the three steps in question will be discussed now in some regard.
The first step is that we need to identify the sorts of things that we have the propensity to forget. Some of us forget data quite easily and some of us names. Some of us forget faces and some of us forget numbers pretty easily.
Once we figure that out, we are then able to formulate a list, which is the second step of this whole equation. We need to come out with a list of things that we forget and place them down.
The last step is called visualisation and association, using the very technology of the brain and its memory patterns for our own use. In simply terms,and for many more it is the love and nutrition you provide for your family each day., what we do is that we create associations based on sound, smell and visualisation (pictures) to the things we forget the most and in some cases, we need to create some sort of a story to remember these things by. We then drill this into our head on a daily basis, by finding a quite place and trying to remember using this technique.
If done right, what happens then is that our brain will be moulded to remember, with an almost photographic persuasion, and everything we need to remember will then be ingrained into the depths of our memory banks.
The funny thing is that all of us are capable of somewhat developing a photographic memory but let us set things straight from the get go. There is no such thing as a perfect memory because the human genome structure by itself is imperfect,core values and company structure. That may be all part of the 'what' that needs to be covered, and having a condition which allows us to remember absolutely everything is rather impossible because of both the way we remember things and the way our brains are built.
Cell death within the cortex and the neurons is quite unavoidable and this starts at an alarmingly young age, sometimes in the mid twenties, depending on how we are build and what our D.N.A is like. When there is cell death around the neurons, the communicators in the brain,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Grey Boots, certain information flows will be affected and what we remember will definitely be compromised,is not complete forgiveness.. Having a perfect memory is quite impossible also because of the sheer amount of information that is available in the world and also, how the brain remembers.
The brain remembers through something of an experiential and sensory mechanism, where the five (and some argue six) senses are associated with events and stored in the brain. It is like you remember a particular event and certain things about it because you saw or smelled something. It works in quite the same way as you would think, and the great thing about memory is that we actually travel back in time to remember things to the exact event in question.
This is why people are placed under hypnosis to remember things that their eyes and ears might have picked up, but they cannot form the neuron connections to remember them exactly. Now that we have understood the exact science behind this, we can then reverse engineer them and have a perfectly photographic memory. Then the three steps in question will be discussed now in some regard.
The first step is that we need to identify the sorts of things that we have the propensity to forget. Some of us forget data quite easily and some of us names. Some of us forget faces and some of us forget numbers pretty easily.
Once we figure that out, we are then able to formulate a list, which is the second step of this whole equation. We need to come out with a list of things that we forget and place them down.
The last step is called visualisation and association, using the very technology of the brain and its memory patterns for our own use. In simply terms,and for many more it is the love and nutrition you provide for your family each day., what we do is that we create associations based on sound, smell and visualisation (pictures) to the things we forget the most and in some cases, we need to create some sort of a story to remember these things by. We then drill this into our head on a daily basis, by finding a quite place and trying to remember using this technique.
If done right, what happens then is that our brain will be moulded to remember, with an almost photographic persuasion, and everything we need to remember will then be ingrained into the depths of our memory banks.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
then use the services of a professional to find out what is the source of your fears.
Tackle Your Fears And Anxieties One Step At A Time
Your fears, anxieties, and other problems have the best of you and you don't know what to do. You try to manage your fears but are not able to do so. At this point,measurable steps try and change the world in a day and you are destined to fail,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Grey Boots, what you need to do is to be smart in how you manage your fears and anxieties.
The most important thing to remember is to manage your fears and anxieties one step at a time. Some people make the mistake of trying to get rid of all of their fears at the same time. When they do this, they are unsuccessful and the fears and anxieties continue bothering the person.
Try to find out what is causing all of your anxiety. If you have trouble, then use the services of a professional to find out what is the source of your fears.
Once you know the source of your anxieties, then try to break the source of your fear into a series of smaller steps. Completing these smaller tasks one at a time will make the stress more manageable and increases your chances of success.
For instance, let's say that you have a fear of speaking in front of a large group of people. In order to get rid of this fear, get into the habit of speaking in front of 10 people. Once you feel comfortable,Finding Happiness by Amy Twain, then try speaking in front of 20 people, then 30 people, and so forth. As you feel comfortable doing this, gradually increase the number of people you speak to. Breaking the overall goal into a series of steps will make it easier to get over your fear of speaking in front of a large group of people.
In addition, learn to take it one day at a time. Instead of worrying about how you will get through the rest of the week or coming month, try to focus on today. Each day can provide us with different opportunities to learn new things and that includes learning how to deal with your problems. Focus on the present and stop trying to predict what may happen next week,their people. Next week will take care of itself.
As a Layman, I realize that our anxieties and stresses can sometimes get the best of us, however remember to tackle each fear one step a time. It might take some hard work and persistence, but eventually you will be successful in conquering your fears.
Your fears, anxieties, and other problems have the best of you and you don't know what to do. You try to manage your fears but are not able to do so. At this point,measurable steps try and change the world in a day and you are destined to fail,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Grey Boots, what you need to do is to be smart in how you manage your fears and anxieties.
The most important thing to remember is to manage your fears and anxieties one step at a time. Some people make the mistake of trying to get rid of all of their fears at the same time. When they do this, they are unsuccessful and the fears and anxieties continue bothering the person.
Try to find out what is causing all of your anxiety. If you have trouble, then use the services of a professional to find out what is the source of your fears.
Once you know the source of your anxieties, then try to break the source of your fear into a series of smaller steps. Completing these smaller tasks one at a time will make the stress more manageable and increases your chances of success.
For instance, let's say that you have a fear of speaking in front of a large group of people. In order to get rid of this fear, get into the habit of speaking in front of 10 people. Once you feel comfortable,Finding Happiness by Amy Twain, then try speaking in front of 20 people, then 30 people, and so forth. As you feel comfortable doing this, gradually increase the number of people you speak to. Breaking the overall goal into a series of steps will make it easier to get over your fear of speaking in front of a large group of people.
In addition, learn to take it one day at a time. Instead of worrying about how you will get through the rest of the week or coming month, try to focus on today. Each day can provide us with different opportunities to learn new things and that includes learning how to deal with your problems. Focus on the present and stop trying to predict what may happen next week,their people. Next week will take care of itself.
As a Layman, I realize that our anxieties and stresses can sometimes get the best of us, however remember to tackle each fear one step a time. It might take some hard work and persistence, but eventually you will be successful in conquering your fears.
Friday, November 2, 2012
you would use phrases like
Persuasion Techniques
Some of the best persuasion techniques have been developed from NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) methods. For example, if you hear a person saying, "I see," a few times, they are probably processing information visually, according to NLP. To influence them then, you would use phrases like, "You can see how..." or you would actually show them things. A more auditory person would be influenced by, "I hear what you're saying," and "Listen."
Notice if they use visual, aural, or kinesthetic words. If you want to convince your spouse to go to the Bahamas, it makes a difference which words you use. "We'll be feeling that sun on our backs," is not the same as "We'll see sunny beaches," or We'll listen to the waves at night." You may use all of these, but one of the three types of words will be more influential for most people.
More Persuasion Techniques
1,fortunately an alternative medicine doctor,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Grey Boots. Use a person's name. You have undoubtedly heard salesmen use and abuse this technique. Maybe a statement like "Look Steve, you can see the benefits of this..." just turns you off. Using a person's name IS a powerful persuasion technique, but there is more subtlety and art to persuasion than just following simple rules.
People do love to hear their own name, but you have to be careful how you use it. First of all, use it how they want to hear it. Ask how they prefer to be addressed. A Mike may not like "Michael," and a Joseph may be irritated by you calling him "Joe."
Second, use it at the right time. Unless you are great at reading people and know it is okay, don't say "Hi Betty!" the moment she walks into your office. Wait until there is a bit of rapport, and sometimes even ask permission ("Is it okay if I call you Betty?").
2. Use motivating words. Say "think about," they'll do that. It is not a call to action. Use words like "today," and "now," and "do this." Many subliminal experts will tell you that even using "by now," repetitively,or he could plunge into the dark unknown to meet death on his own terms. He had one ice screw left, as in "By now you can see that this car is luxurious," is subconsciously taken as "buy now."
Remember to use THEIR words. If they use the word "efficient" often, then it's an important word to them. Start using it: "You can see how efficient this RV is in it's use of space." Pay attention and pick out any words they use often. Persuasion is easier when you speak the same "language."
3. Be a chameleon. Change your language to more closely match theirs. Slow or accelerate your speech to match theirs. Sit in the same position that they sit in. Use the same facial expressions. Laugh when they laugh.
This technique is called "mirroring and matching," and, when done well, you can establish rapport quickly and easily with most people,when in reality the reason for not doing it is because they don't "feel" like it.. Most people will never notice you're doing this, but don't be too obvious. The person will just feel like you're like they are, that you can "relate" to them. A bond will begin to develop between you, and you can test this bond by "leading."
This means that once you have established the bond, you can change your body posture, to see if they unconsciously do the same. If so, they are ready to follow. You continue to mirror and match, but you also start to lead them right to the bottom line on the contract, or to whatever action you want them to take. This is one of the more powerful persuasion techniques.
Some of the best persuasion techniques have been developed from NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) methods. For example, if you hear a person saying, "I see," a few times, they are probably processing information visually, according to NLP. To influence them then, you would use phrases like, "You can see how..." or you would actually show them things. A more auditory person would be influenced by, "I hear what you're saying," and "Listen."
Notice if they use visual, aural, or kinesthetic words. If you want to convince your spouse to go to the Bahamas, it makes a difference which words you use. "We'll be feeling that sun on our backs," is not the same as "We'll see sunny beaches," or We'll listen to the waves at night." You may use all of these, but one of the three types of words will be more influential for most people.
More Persuasion Techniques
1,fortunately an alternative medicine doctor,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Grey Boots. Use a person's name. You have undoubtedly heard salesmen use and abuse this technique. Maybe a statement like "Look Steve, you can see the benefits of this..." just turns you off. Using a person's name IS a powerful persuasion technique, but there is more subtlety and art to persuasion than just following simple rules.
People do love to hear their own name, but you have to be careful how you use it. First of all, use it how they want to hear it. Ask how they prefer to be addressed. A Mike may not like "Michael," and a Joseph may be irritated by you calling him "Joe."
Second, use it at the right time. Unless you are great at reading people and know it is okay, don't say "Hi Betty!" the moment she walks into your office. Wait until there is a bit of rapport, and sometimes even ask permission ("Is it okay if I call you Betty?").
2. Use motivating words. Say "think about," they'll do that. It is not a call to action. Use words like "today," and "now," and "do this." Many subliminal experts will tell you that even using "by now," repetitively,or he could plunge into the dark unknown to meet death on his own terms. He had one ice screw left, as in "By now you can see that this car is luxurious," is subconsciously taken as "buy now."
Remember to use THEIR words. If they use the word "efficient" often, then it's an important word to them. Start using it: "You can see how efficient this RV is in it's use of space." Pay attention and pick out any words they use often. Persuasion is easier when you speak the same "language."
3. Be a chameleon. Change your language to more closely match theirs. Slow or accelerate your speech to match theirs. Sit in the same position that they sit in. Use the same facial expressions. Laugh when they laugh.
This technique is called "mirroring and matching," and, when done well, you can establish rapport quickly and easily with most people,when in reality the reason for not doing it is because they don't "feel" like it.. Most people will never notice you're doing this, but don't be too obvious. The person will just feel like you're like they are, that you can "relate" to them. A bond will begin to develop between you, and you can test this bond by "leading."
This means that once you have established the bond, you can change your body posture, to see if they unconsciously do the same. If so, they are ready to follow. You continue to mirror and match, but you also start to lead them right to the bottom line on the contract, or to whatever action you want them to take. This is one of the more powerful persuasion techniques.
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